My first book is scheduled to launch April 1st and everything is rolling along at a nice steady clip. I couldn’t be more thrilled! The ideas in my head are spinning around, and my creative juices are flowing. Exciting times! As I was lying in bed this morning wide awake at 4:00 am (for no good reason other than I’m so darned excited) I began to run through the list in my head of things that I want to accomplish today. Some of the tasks on my list are related to my day job and family but most are related to my new novel, Hidden in the Dark. This is normal, right?
And then it happened again. The next book idea started poking and prodding me in the most delicious of ways. I’m afraid to completely shut the ideas out for fear that they will leave me all together, but on the other hand, I don’t want to devote too much time to the next baby when the current one hasn’t really been birthed yet.
After changing positions at least twenty times and covering my face with a pillow in hopes that the reduced oxygen levels would lull me to sleep, I finally resigned myself to being completely awake. I did the right thing and took care of some administrative/promotional stuff for Hidden in the Dark (which I am still extremely stoked about, by the way).
Now I’m going to put my thoughts about the upcoming book onto this post in hopes that the idea will let me be for a few weeks. Perhaps the idea will feel validated and understand that I’m coming back for it soon. Yes, I know I am speaking of the idea as if it’s a living thing, and that I must sound like a complete a kook. It feels like a separate thing from me, this inspiration that comes from thin air at times.
Okay, so here it goes…
In my book, Hidden in the Dark, the main characters are all abused by Randall, the father and husband. It’s easy to hate Randall because he does unspeakable things to his wife and three daughters. In this story, Randall doesn’t get much consideration. He is a monster, therefore his opinion doesn’t matter, nor do his feelings.
Now that the story is finished, I continue to think about Randall. I wonder what ingredients and conditions make a monster like Randall. It would be easy enough to point to a bad childhood or a genetics. But so many people suffer bad childhoods and don’t grow up to become abusers.
I definitely have my work cut out for me. I want to tell Randall’s story even though I’m sure he doesn’t deserve to have it told. My gut is telling me to go where the discomfort lies. I want to know “How a Monster is Made“.