Do you have invisibilitis? In case you aren’t familiar with the disease, it is a debilitating condition that renders the afflicted weakened and benign, often afraid to shine too brightly or sing too loudly. Just for the record, I have a slight case of invisibilitis….Okay, I might have made the word up, so don’t go pestering Google. You probably won’t find anything.
The condition flares up, like a bad case of diarrhea, whenever I threaten to do something truly magnificent. Invisibilitis manifests itself as the deep, irrational fear that IF I succeed (for example, my novel is a hit), THEN something equally awful will happen (one of my children will be picked off by the imaginary vultures in the sky, or I’ll get cancer).
It’s the self-sabotaging voice in my head that tries to discourage me from taking big (or small) creative risks. It’s the same whisper in my head that told me not to raise my hand in class, for fear of being wrong. Continue reading If I Succeed Will I Have to Sacrifice My Firstborn Child?